There are two things that control every single aspect of your life. You may think there are more, but in reality, there are only two. These two things will determine whether or not you read this article. They'll determine how successful you become in your chosen field. They'll even determine the type of person you marry, the amount of money you make, and your hobbies. What are they?
1. Your Beliefs
Your beliefs are the convictions and assumptions you hold about yourself and the world around you. The core belief of "I'm shy and always have been", is one that many people hold. If you truly believe you are shy, and that you have trouble connecting with people, you'll live your life as a shy person. There is no getting around this. Until you change your belief, every social interaction you have for the rest of your life will be impacted by the belief that you are shy. Here are examples of other beliefs you may hold:
- "I'm not the type of person who can just spontaneously book a flight. I'm a planner"
- "I'm not that smart, I have to work hard for every grade and penny I earn."
- "I'm big boned, that's just the way I was born."
- "All the good ones are gone, that's why I'm not in a relationship."
Whether you realize it or not, most of your life has been shaped by your beliefs. And, until you change your beliefs, your life will continue to revolve around them. The beauty in this is that it's possible to change your beliefs.
The beliefs you hold are nothing more than stories you've been telling yourself for years. They only exist because you THINK they exist. I'm sure you've heard the classic rags-to-riches story. Take Jeff Olson, who went from a homeless beach bum to a multi-millionaire business mogul. Or Neil Strauss, who went from a hopeless romantic, with zero dating experience at the age of 26, to dating models and Hollywood actresses. These incredible life changes didn't just happen to Jeff and Neil out of sheer luck. These things happened because they both consciously shifted their core beliefs. To change your life, change your beliefs.
"Our strongest drive is to stay consistent with what we define ourselves as." - Tony Robbins
2. Your Values
Similar to your beliefs, your values are the ideas you hold to be important as a human being. Your values are responsible for the way you communicate, behave, and interact with other people. The problem with values is that most of us have conflicting ones. We value our health, but we also value going out for our daily ice cream. We value changing the world, but we also value pleasing everyone.
The number one thing stopping people from succeeding, is their conflicting values. It's okay to have many values in life, and it's certainly okay if they change over time; your values will inevitably evolve as you age. What's not okay is to have two conflicting values. Conflicting values do nothing but add stress to our lives and prevent us from moving towards our goals and mission. You can't change the world, while simultaneously pleasing everyone. In the process of changing the world, you'll offend, upset, and anger some. So, which value are you going to hang on to, and which one are you going to release?
"If you could just divorce the story of your limitation and marry the truth of your unlimited capacity, the whole games changes." - Tony Robbins
What is one belief you've been holding onto that no longer serves you?
What are two conflicting values you have that are limiting you from pursuing success?
I'd love to hear from you! Leave a note in the comments below.